Getting a gift that will be treasured

Christmas entertainment at Eastgate Mall,
Johannesburg, South Africa

Happy 2017 everyone! Sorry for the hiatus. I promise to write at least two or three times a month this year. Hope you work to make all that you wish for come to fruition this year instead of just noting things down then sitting in anticipation. Reminds me of Sydney Youngblood’s song Sit and Wait. I had to take about 20 minutes break to share the song on my Facebook and dance to it a little. I last listened to it donkey years ago.

The festive season has come and gone. For me it signifies family time, relaxing, spirituality, and a general sense of goodwill. Before 2016 I used to see Christmas time as a time to eat sweet and rich food without restraint, but I was more disciplined this time around. I shouldn’t reward myself with food as if I’m a dog, right? I had a normal meal and was OK with that. I like getting gifts for people for important dates like Christmas, so I did get some for the significant people in my life.

Presentation of gifts has redeeming or dog-box factors

Before I get anyone a gift, I actually reflect on it, especially if it’s a grown up and someone quite important to me. I think about it for days or even weeks. Sometimes I even buy gifts months in advance. I think about the value of that gift in that person’s life. I don’t just buy something that would make someone feel I was rolling my eyes and saying, “Let’s get this sh*t over and done with.” I buy as a statement to the recipients. I want them to feel special; to look at that present and feel my love. I want to get a present that makes someone see that I did put some thought into it. For instance, a woman from my network asked for help with Christmas gifts for disadvantaged teenage girls. I decided to take part in her initiative and bought essentials like sanitary pads, bath soap, deodorant, handbag, and a few more basics. It would not have made sense to buy a jigsaw puzzle or teddy bear for such a project. My uncle Ben Bofu once told me a story about donors that came to a disadvantaged mosquito-infested community bearing mosquito nets. The villagers thanked them and used to the nets to trap fish from their river. They were not worried about mosquito bites but about their families’ rumbling stomachs. The donors had been generous, but clearly had not thought about what this community needed, what it would appreciate.

I also bought a beaded necklace and earrings for a lovely cousin that taught me to love earrings. They were not expensive, but I knew the kind of gift that would connect us and onethat she would value. I have things in my possession that when I look at I feel nostalgic and hold them close to my heart thinking, “ Aw! So and so!” Gifts are an emotional thing for me. They don’t have to be expensive, but they need to have a soul in them, they need to be treasured. I would honestly rather not get a gift than get one that makes me feel depreciated, not appreciated.

I will list the Top 6 gifts that would do it for me. They are not in their order of importance:

The Body Shop Products

1. Gift card from The Body Shop or Clicks
2. Deodorant with a sweet, fruity scent
3. Good, powerful camera
4. The newest book by my favourite author
5. A collection, even a CD by one of my favourite musicians
6. A dress that fits perfectly (It does count where you buy it from. I did mention that my gifts don’t have to be expensive, but if they are from a significant other, I know what he can afford! It’s better to buy something cheap that would be appreciated than something big that does not tug a heartstring. I think someone should get a gift that they would not be ashamed to declare to the world that I got such or such a thing from such and such a place.)

I read on a Wikihow on getting the best present for someone and among other things, the page said, “However you go about it, a gift that shows that you spent time thinking about her or paying attention to her will be more greatly appreciated even if it turns out that she doesn’t like the gift itself. Present the gift – even a potentially bad gift can be saved with correct presentation.”

I took to my whatsapp streets and consulted a few people on what gifts they would appreciate. Read and enjoy!

Susan – I assume if it’s a new relationship people are still sizing each other up and trying to figure what one likes, scents and styles so there will be room for errors. But after some years when you know each other from discussing and knowing each other’s standards it’s only smart that you find diplomatic ways of investigating what one is burning for or from just discussions it’s easy to pick cues on what your partner wants. Like I heard ‘him’ mentioning leather bags for computers with shoulder cross-over thing. I didn’t buy because I can’t afford but will keep an eye on sales. I mentioned headphones and want good quality. So if you see someone buying knitting needles when I’ve been singing about headphones, I will be pissed off. With my man, I’m free to mention that I have spent within a specific range for his gift so that he can also stay within that range or feel free to go way up. I realised I had to say it after he bought from H & M when I had coughed up quite a bit sometime last year. So agreeing that we should get gifts not less than $50 could be a good thing, or writing a wish list. There is a site you can register with family members and those close to you will know what you actually want so that you don’t end up buying stuff that won’t be appreciated. When I got the H&M I gave it to his daughter – told him H&M is for young girls in high school (rolls eyes four times) and I never got H&M again. Not to put myself in some fake class by refusing that gift but I know he can afford better and has taste so why dzikisira (debase) me like that. What you accept is what will continue so I put a stop before atambarara (he went to far). Just raising my standards; that’s all.

The Fairmont Zimbali Resort, Durban, South Africa

Leslie – any effort to get me something would make me happy. I never look at a present as something I don’t like. I cherish the thought more than the actual item. Even if he got from some low-class shop, the fact that he stopped and thought, “Let me get Les something,” zvakatokwana zvakadaro (it’s good like that). Handidi hangu kunyepa asi ndikazoshaya (I don’t wanna lie but if I don’t get any present at all) present zvachose with no explanation panofiwa (someone is dead meat). Creativity with presents is a gift, that’s what I think. Some people battle and others find it easy. Ndakamboudzwa neimwe mbuya kuti hanzi kana akauya akabata newspaper tambura uchitenda nemufaro. Kana benzi rinotozonyara chete. (An old woman once advised me that even if he comes bearing a newspaper as a gift, receive it graciously. Even if he’s an idiot, he would eventually feel embarrassed.) I thought that was valuable advice. I guess I have a very weird way of looking at things. I try not to build expectations or a standard around people. I think that by doing that you will always be disappointed.

Tatenda – For presents I love jewelry and spa treatments and holidays if someone really wants to spoil me. I have gotten lousy presents before, the worst being a face cloth with sewing needles and some sewing thread. I hardly know how to sew. I made the mistake of not telling the person. I accepted their gift but they had not put any thought or effort into it. Needless to say, the relationship did not last but imagine if it had. If would mean probably getting lousy presents all the time. So now I think you accept the gift but lovingly tell them you didn’t like it.

Patricia – I prefer useful presents or a voucher which I can use to buy what I need no matter how small. I don’t mind gifts from chain stores, but it also means if I want a MacBook Air he should also buy because I need it. I didn’t get a Christmas present at all yet I bought him a nice one. I haven’t asked him yet because I’m still shocked. Don’t even know how to ask.

View from Moses Mabhidha Stadium, Durban, South Africa

Sihle – I am not really particular about presents but what I can tell you for sure is I like eating out, travelling and visiting places with my family. If my husband bought me something from a cheap chain store, it would not be a problem if it is nice. I’m not bothered by the shop.

Progress – if I got a present I disliked I would smile and say thank you (if it was hubby). Anyone else id sell it of its value or pass it on.

Priscilla – I don’t know what to say about presents! I rarely get those. In an ideal world I would appreciate being given something I cherish: a book by my favourite author maybe. If I get something I don’t like I would gracefully accept it, knowing someone went to a lot of effort to get it for me. If my husband got me a gift from some cheap store, then it shows the value he places on me and our relationship.