Sexual and Reproductive Health Plays Second Fiddle to COVID-19 Pandemic

The advent of COVID-19 has sent many issues that used to be of paramount importance to governments and organisations sent to the back burner. There are growing concerns that after the battle against coronavirus is won, whenever that’s going to be, there will be new fires to put out. The United Nations has sent out an ominous warning that the next pandemic in line is in mental health. This is due to high anxiety levels precipitated by coronavirus, and other spin-offs such job losses, closure of schools and social distancing measures leading to seclusion.

In the Kingdom of Eswatini, it is feared another crisis of sorts is also growing in the wings of the raging pandemic. On Thursday, May 14^th, SafAids hosted a webinar where civic groups and adolescents discussed sexual reproductive health rights (SRHR) during lockdown. Panellists concurred that while it was essential to place the country on lockdown to curtail the spread of COVID-19, the move had the unwelcome impact of hampering access to sexual health services such as contraceptives, condoms and treatment, by young people. Travel restrictions would demand that these young people explain their movements to authorities whenever they need to access services. Faced with such a daunting task, it becomes easier to just forego the required services.

Before lockdown, there were platforms for relevant civic groups to engage with young people, but with social distancing measures banning public gatherings, these have been put on hold.  Safaids Social Accountability Mentee, Sikhulile Hlatjwako said there were groups still operational on social media. However, considering the high cost of data, coupled with a high unemployment rate among young people, not many would be able to participate in these groups, or benefit from them. The coronavirus pandemic has also dealt young adults who earned an income through informal employment a big blow, making it even harder for them to afford transport to places where they would have been comfortable obtaining sexual health services.

Hlatjwako also touched on an issue that has become a global concern -  sexual abuse during lockdown. Many women and children are currently locked up with their abusers. While governments have their eyes on flattening the coronavirus curve, the rape scourge is unfolding.  Research has shown that many cases of child sexual abuse are perpetrated, more often than not, but people closely related to the children or even staying under the same roof as them. Hlatjwako urged guardians to pay attention to their children if they expressed concerns around particular individuals, and be prepared to have discussions around sexual abuse with their children.

With a great degree of uncertainty surrounding the 2020 academic year, many school-going children could find themselves sitting at home with not much to do for months on end. Many schools around the world have adapted to online learning, but in a country like Eswatini, this remains a pie in the sky for many.  Ministry of Health SRHR Coordinator Zandile Masangane said too much idle time and a great sense of helplessness increase the chances of young people wanting to “steal sex”. The current state of affairs, therefore, makes it more urgent for provision of reproductive health services to  be considered an essential service, or else the country will have a huge fallout of unplanned pregnancies and a higher HIV infection rate. This issue would be an easy one to dismiss, especially for conservative parents, but it is actually a life or death situation.

According to UNAIDS, Eswatini had 210,000 people living with HIV, with an adult prevalence of 27,3%, as of 2018. There were 7 800 new infections recorded. The kingdom has been lauded for making impressive strides in HIV testing services and the provision of free antiretroviral treatment. It would be interesting to track how the shift of focus to the coronavirus pandemic and the subsequent lockdown will impact HIV statistics.

Safaids Country Representative, Mandisa Zwane-Machakata applauded government efforts to deal with the threat of COVID-19, but added that there should be no regression in SAHR service provision. She pointed out that information on delaying the onset of sex should still be given, albeit without allowing those children choosing to indulge to fall through the cracks.

Young people in Eswatini (unrelated to the story)

There was consensus among panellists that if ever there was a time for parents to roll their sleeves and get their hands dirty as far as discussions on sexual and reproductive health are concerned, it is now. There is not much such discourse happening, particularly in the African context, but parents need to open up to conversations on sex with their children, considering other channels of communication have stalled as a result of the coronavirus. Masangane said children could easily access information on reproductive health from other outlets, but it would be best if they got it first from their parents. She called for a further similar engagement to be organised, but this time with a focus on empowering parents on how to broach sensitive discussions with their children. A contributor, Ken Makhanya asked for assistance for parents who would like to engage their children but do not know where to start, “We’ve literally shifted responsibility to schools and [civic society organisations],” he said. Machakata said the current scenario provided an opportunity for society to go back to basics and forge relationships with their children. She implored parents to seek the right information from organisations such as WHO, so that they are better equipped to guide their children through growth phases.  An organisation called Khulisa Umntfwana has also availed itself to help parents with the necessary information during the pandemic.    

What stood out for me as I listened to contributions to this webinar was how the Eswatini narrative could fit anywhere else in Africa. Before coronavirus started wreaking havoc on the continent, most governments and organisations on the continent were focused on improving adherence to antiretroviral treatment among those living with HIV. The 90-90-90 target now appears to be a thing of the past as resources are channelled to the fight against COVID-19. Parents around the continent have also suddenly found themselves saddled with having to wear many hats at the same time, with no teachers and organisations to pass the buck too. One thing for sure is we all need to be tightening our belts and brace ourselves for the coronavirus aftermath.

Bad till operators

About 2 weeks ago I attended the Service Excellence Awards at a local hotel.  The MC spoke about how every  person on the premises, from the security guard at the gate right to the office cleaner, has a role a role to play in customer retention. 

Everyday we are confronted by bad customer services by people who should actually be bending over backwards to treat us well so that we stay faithful to their brands. 

I wonder how much training is devoted to till operators in retail outlets. Close to my  house is Bhunu Mall, where Shoprite and other shops such as Clicks, Milady's, Woolworths and others are located. I'd pick it over nearer standalone shops because there's ample parking. Manzini is congested and one has a torrid time trying to secure parking,  which is something I have no patience with. Shoprite till operators are among the worst I've seen. When customers arrive at their till points, they mostly don't even greet them. They proceed to ringing your items and throwing them disrespectfully out of the way. On a recent visit, a till operator and a packer were having a very loud conversation about something and laughed their heads off. Customers, including myself, would arrive at the till and no-one would even look at them. The two just continued yapping away, and the only time the till operator acknowledged a customer was when she stretched her hand for the money. That's all she cared about. 

If I weren't the cheapskate that I am, I doubt I'd ever set foot in Shoprite. Their prices are usually great even though their staff isn't. I guess every rose had its thorns. Pick 'n Pay staff at The Hub and at Riverstone are very warm and helpful .

The one that took the cake, however, was a Moneni Spar till operator whose path I crossed this week. The supermarket had a special on Ingrams body creams, and I've liked the Ingrams brand a lot for many years. I hadn't visited this particular shop for many months and actually felt bad because it had been my favourite before the road construction around the shop started. It was like coming back home when i got into the store, until I met this till operator. She had a very sour look about her, one that made me feel quite tense and short of apologising for disturbing her day by my presence in the shop.  I honestly felt like a fly in her milk.

I'd picked 3 varieties of Ingrams body creams, and only one indicated the reduced price. The others were E13 more expensive than the flyer advertised. She said, "Only this one is working. The other ones are not on special." I told her that couldn't be possible because the advert said 'assorted', not just one type. She just glared at me as if to say, "Make a decision.  Are you going to take these creams at this price or you're going to leave them?" I  didn't want those options; I wanted the creams at the discounted price, so I just stood there perplexed at her rude attitude. I asked, "Can't you ask someone about this?" Another glare, and she dragged herself off the ottoman she was sitting on and dragged her feet towards the manager's desk. No hurry in Africa! The problem was promptly fixed and all the creams priced correctly. I gave her my bank card, she inserted it into the terminal the looked at me sourly and nodded towards the terminal to indicate I should insert my PIN. I did and went straight to the manager to complain. The manager said she would sort her out, and I hope she does. I know people have issues, but that's no excuse to treat other people badly, especially if you're in the retail industry where every customer that comes is there to ensure you get a salary at the end of the month. The manager apologised profusely for the till operator's behaviour, but I don't see myself going back there. That one will spit in my face for telling on her!

My experiences with domestic workers

Finding the right domestic worker is very hard.  I’ve had about 7 between 2006 and now. I have seen it all! It’s not easy to just take a stranger that you know nothing about into your home and live with them. I guess it’s also not easy on helpers to just find themselves in the middle of strangers and trying to fit in. My first helper seemed to be OK and we were together for about two years. When she left that’s when I realised how generous she was to neighbours with details of our lives, most of them fake.  She almost died in the house while aborting and we had to part ways. Then I decided it was safer to find an older woman because older women are reputed to be more stable and caring. Bad mistake! That woman was scary! She just fell short of spanking me and sending me to run errands for her. She was always angry and every time I was around her, I felt like apologising for something.  She would refuse to sit on the couch, preferring the floor, and slept on the floor as well. It was scary to leave her with my baby.  We parted ways again, and I was even terrified to tell her not to come back. After that I said no, I should get a very young girl I can manage, and my mother-in-law found one for me. She would go to her room and sit in the dark. I asked her why, and she said ndinoona zvekuona zviye murima (my sight is perfect in the dark!) I started getting scared again. Every time she ironed, she burned something. One day a glass lid broke into the relish and she just cooked the meat with the glass. We parted ways again. I started wondering if I was a bad person. The rest weren’t that bad but just didn’t last. And when my lifestyle allowed, I just did everything by myself.

The one that I have now has been with us since July 2014, that’s 3 years, 3 months and counting. That’s the longest I’ve stayed with a helper. People either say oh you’re lucky you got a perfect one, or you must be very patient! I don’t think you ever get a perfect helper. No one is perfect. I think I’ve grown from my experiences with helpers. My helper can’t cook to save her life. I do all the cooking every day! She can’t even clean very well and half the time I end up redoing chores behind her back because I know she would really have tried. Despite all her shortcomings, she has a heart of gold. She looks after my children like they are her own. With the little money we can afford to pay her, she buys chips for the kids when she’s coming home from the weekend. Twice she’s bought earrings for Rudairo; she’s like her personal doll and she loves dressing her up. She knows I love avocados and lemons, so when she finds people selling, she buys for me and when I try to refund, she says no, it’s a present (my eyes are welling up now). When I’m stressed about something, she gets stressed too, even though she doesn’t say much because we have a language barrier. I buy or bake cake for her birthday too as we do for all family members. You can’t treat someone who has been under your roof for three years as an outsider. One day a child scratched Rudairo badly at school. When we got home, Rudairo ran to hug her and cried. She saw the ugly scratch and cried too.  Earlier this month she lost her father. We sat, wept together, and she even asked me to help her choose a coffin. It was a little chilling but it had to be done. Burial here usually happens a week or more after death, so she had to be away for more than a week. She asked to come during that week to help with laundry. I said I would manage but I was actually really struggling and she knew too; my hands are always full. Laundry day I only managed to do it halfway before I had to go out for my other obligations. I came back to find her hanging the clothes after finishing up the washing. After that, she went back to her home.

I’m just very grateful that we found each other. She’s 4 years younger than me, and is exactly 2 weeks younger than my sister Susan, so she’s like a young sister to me. She’s the only aunt my children really know since I’m far from my three sisters. Every Sunday around 5pm my children will just be lurking at the gate, waiting for her. If she’s late, I see them getting stressed. Her work isn’t perfect, but whose is? I struggle with meeting my deadlines too. If you look past the imperfections, and she has quite a few, there’s usually a gem somewhere in everybody.   I always worry what will happen to her should we leave Swaziland, will she be ok? Will we be OK?

Ignorance on Down syndrome breeds discrimination

It is encouraging when more and more mothers come forward to share their stories on raising children with disabilities. I believe this goes a long way in raising awareness in the community. When people understand what affected families go through, they might be more empathetic and less liable to be insensitive.

Mandisa* gave birth to a child that appeared typical, apart from her low birth weight of 2.5kg.  Lungile*, who is now 12, didn’t gain much weight and Mandisa took her to several doctors to find out what could have been the cause.  All the tests done never picked up anything abnormal.  She was able to reach all the milestones, like sitting, crawling, standing and eventually walking by 18 months.  The speech was what took long to come as she was only able to talk at 6 years old.  Although this was not her first child, she unfortunately did not see any tell-tale signs of Down syndrome.  When Lungile was about a year old, she had to see an ENT (Ear, Nose and Throat) specialist who asked Mandisa if she was aware that her child had Down syndrome.  He went on to explain everything regarding the condition before referring her to a doctor in South Africa. That doctor referred her for occupational therapy, from where she got another referral for speech therapy.

“What was sad was that many people, including my relatives, were aware of my child’s condition, but nobody wanted to break the news to me.  At first I asked God why me especially because I am one person who loves people with disabilities.  Later on I realised that God gave me this child because he saw my heart and knew that I would love her,” said Mandisa. She added that caring for Lungile has not been an easy journey, emotionally, financially, socially and spiritually, but credited God and her family’s support in making it bearable. Lungile  gets support for her older siblings, teachers, school mates as well as Sunday School Teachers at her local church, who accommodate for who she is. There are, nevertheless, still many challenges that Mandisa and other parents like her encounter as they raise children with Down syndrome.

Mandisa describes Lungile as a bubbly child who is extremely kind and loving, but her distinctive Down syndrome features usually draw stares and not much love from people. She says the discrimination in society is particularly heart-breaking because it is evident in children who refuse to play with Lungile when she reaches out to them. She just loves taking care of people, including her classmates who she usually assists with walking to class at drop-off time and packing their bags before home time. The discrimination she encounters is a wet blanket on her sunny personality and she has since stopped trying to engage other kids, choosing instead to watch television and play computer games.

Mandisa believes discrimination primarily emanates from people not understanding Down syndrome, and equating it to madness.  There needs to be more advocacy for Down syndrome in schools, churches and communities because people don’t understand it yet; most parent end up hiding their children to protect them from the bad treatment they receive from society, she says.

“People have said and done of lot of unpleasant things to my daughter but the most outstanding was when a doctor said to me, ‘Take out your retarded child’.  Lungile was sick, I don’t even recall if he ever said anything concerning the sickness.  Another instance was when she tried to touch a laptop of one of my relatives and he immediately took it away as though she had leprosy which was contagious,” said Mandisa.

To top all the man-made challenges, parents whose children have the condition have to contend health problems that usually accompany it. When Lungile was young, there were frequent visits to doctors for various ailments including skin problems.  Thankfully, she outgrew most of the ailments but is still receiving treatment for the persistent skin problems by a doctor outside the borders of the country. The shortage or non-availability of specialist doctors locally is a big thorn in the flesh for most parents because they cannot always access the doctors whenever they want to, and seeing the doctors takes a huge chunk out of the family coffers.

Mandisa’s wish is for Lungile to be fully independent and live a fulfilling life like everyone else. “My worst fear is what would happen to her when I’m no more.  The society we live in is not kind to people with challenges, especially females. Bad people see an object to be sexually abused, ridiculed, discriminated, and all sort of negativity which leads to low-self-esteem of the individual,” said Mandisa. She also worries that as Lungile approaches puberty, would she be able to manage her reproductive health issues such as menstruation and being taken advantage of.

Mandisa urged parents whose children have Down syndrome in the country to come together in order to share ideas on how to overcome specific situations. She also encouraged society to educate itself about what Down syndrome is and then be more accommodative towards people with this condition.  “I also implore the Ministry of Education to consider special schools for people with special needs.  If it is inclusive education, they should fully cater for the children with special needs from pre-school to vocational training,” she said.

Lungile is at a private school, but when her time there is up, her mother doesn’t know where to take her. “Swaziland is a very small economy where there are no facilities to cater for such a disability.  I am also sceptical of taking her to facilities beyond the borders as I fear abuse.  I have just left everything in the hands of God.  There is one thing that I know that God has good plans about my daughter, plans not to destroy her but to give her hope. (Jeremiah 29:11),” Mandisa said.

Names changed on request

Down syndrome awareness is represented by the blue and yellow. 

Know the autism red flags

Autism Awareness Wall at Enjabulweni School, Swaziland

April is World Autism Awareness Month. Despite this being the ninth commemoration, precious few people are aware of the condition. Sadly, some of them are actually parents living with affected children but have no idea why their children display certain challenging behaviours. Autism comes with poor communication and social skills, behavioural problems, and cognitive disabilities, all in varying degrees since it is a spectrum disorder. Think of it as tape measure; the level of severity could run anywhere from 1 to 100, so no two autistic people will exhibit exactly the same challenges. Some will struggle to speak while very sharp with certain tasks considered difficult; others will speak very well while failing to perform simple tasks like doing their buttons or tying their shoe laces.

When a child does not develop in the expected way in terms of speech, motor skills, and other milestones, people always find way to explain the challenges away. This happened to Tenkhosi*, a single mother from Mbabane. When her son, Siviwe*, was 18-months-old, he started babbling.  At 2 years he could rote-count and identify numbers. That suddenly stopped, and Tenkhosi hardly noticed it.

The first time the red flag went up was when the boy’s father took him to his home for the weekend. On his return, he stated that his relatives had said the child was not well. Tenkhosi did not pay much attention to it.  Apparently his father’s relatives had been excited to see him and were fussing over him, but he seemed to be in his own bubble and never paid any attention to them in an unusual way.

Eventually Siviwe’s behaviour deteriorated. He started breaking things and making loud noises, and people just dismissed it with, “Oh that one is a real Simelane! Simelanes like breaking and pushing.”  At the age of 4, he got more aggressive, beating his mother all the time. He would only sleep for about three hours and wake up to scream. He even lifted the TV and broke it. Tenkhosi was terrified of her little boy. Some people advised her to go to Maputo and get coconuts to cure him of his speech problems.  Others advised her to beat him up. She did to no avail. “His father wanted him to enrol at the school for the deaf, and I was against the idea because I could tell he was not deaf. He made so much noise at night and neighbours were beginning to complain,” said Tenkhosi.

The strain of looking after Siviwe took its toll on Tenkhosi, until she contemplated killing herself and her son. “I thought of weevil tablets but could not do that to us because I’d seen a relative die an agonising death after taking it,” she said. She then settled on gas. In no time, there was a knock on the door. It was her neighbour who said she had forgotten her keys at her house and had come back for them. “She didn’t even tell me why she came to my house, because as soon as I opened the door, the smell of gas hit her. She said, “Hey, Make the gas is smelling. You can’t have this around your child. He might play with the gas and kill you!” With that, the neighbour took the gas cylinder with her, and the suicide plot was foiled.

“I did not know anything about autism. I just thought my boy was slow and violent. I had no idea where his anger came from. I couldn’t take him to school because I was afraid he would get lost. I even took him to a specialist to check if he had a brain tumour causing the strange behaviour. My first time to hear the term was when the Occupational Therapist said he must have it, and referred me to a paediatrician. Siviwe was finally diagnosed with autism at the age of 5.

Many children are leading less than ideal lives because they never got diagnosed and cannot get the necessary help, such as therapy or medication, to improve their lives. Early treatment has been proven to improve outcomes, often dramatically. Experts say early intensive behavioural intervention improves learning, communication and social skills in young children with autism. Unfortunately most parents, like Tenkhosi, have never heard of autism and just don’t understand what happened to their child.

Siviwe still has occasions when he has meltdowns. “Sometimes I just beg him on my knees, Siviwe, please don’t kill your mom because no one is going to take care of you when I’m dead, but of course he doesn’t understand all that,” said Tenkhosi. “I rarely have conversations with him as other parents do with their kids. All I do is shout, “Stop that! Do this! Don’t do that!” My life just stopped after I had that boy. I’m always looking after him, afraid that he will get lost. I don’t have much support from anyone. This is my problem alone.”

Tenkhosi’s biggest fear is for her son to grow older while remaining non-verbal, and her own aging. “Now I have to control him all the time. What if I can’t do it anymore and it’s just me and him?”

The following "red flags" may indicate your child is at risk for an autism spectrum disorder. If your child exhibits any of the following, please don’t delay in asking your pediatrician or family doctor for an evaluation:

• No big smiles or other warm, joyful expressions by six months or thereafter
• No back-and-forth sharing of sounds, smiles or other facial expressions by nine months
• No babbling by 12 months
• No back-and-forth gestures such as pointing, showing, reaching or waving by 12 months
• No words by 16 months
• No meaningful, two-word phrases (not including imitating or repeating) by 24 months
• Lack of response to name
• Repetitive movements with objects
• Repetitive movements or posturing of body, arms, hands, or fingers
• Any loss of speech, babbling or social skills at any age

*Names changed on request

Additional information from firstsigns.org and Autism Speaks website  

Be Autism Aware in 2017

I am looking forward to another year of highlighting issues affecting individuals with autism and their families. There are still many people who don’t know what autism is, and that is unfortunate seeing it’s a condition affecting quite a sizeable population in the Kingdom of Swaziland. Hopefully as the year progresses, that number dwindles as well.  When people are informed about the condition, they won’t be compelled to judge harshly when they encounter affected individuals. Also, many parents are struggling with their children at home and not seeking intervention because they don’t even know their children have autism. Please take time to read up the condition. There are countless online resources; you never know when that information might come in handy. 

One day, Simphiwe*, whose son is autistic, was at a community meeting in Ngculwini when a woman called out to her, “Make wemntfwana longaphile engcondvweni!” (Hey mother of the mentally ill child!") Simphiwe said she was heartbroken by those words and did not understand why that woman had simply not asked for her name. That’s how bad things can get when you come across grossly insensitive and uninformed people.

It’s not just strangers that stick daggers into the hearts of parents with autistic children. Loved ones also do it. The festive season is one of the most awaited times of the year when families get together and be merry. For families affected by autism, it is usually a trying time.  It is hard to participate in family and social gatherings because sometimes autism comes with hyperactivity, sensory issues and poor social skills. If the music is too loud, or the crowd too big, the autistic child can have a meltdown or spend the day with his hands over his ears. If you are the parent of such a child, it is difficult to turn a blind eye to this and just have fun. You end up also having a distressful day either trying to quell the meltdown or make your child comfortable if he’s in distress. Given a choice of whether to spend the day in the company of family yet not partaking in any of the activities because you have to keep an eye on your child, and just staying at home where the child is used to his surroundings, most parents would choose the latter. You stay at home with your child, you don’t have to spend the day explaining his behaviour to anyone, and your child is calmer because he is in his own turf. It does get lonely, though. Sometimes staying away from functions can also be imposed on the family of the autistic child. People might never want to invite you again for fear that your child might break things or disturb the peace, be the “party pooper”, basically.

At family functions there will always be that aunt who will shout in front of everyone that if you spare the rod you spoil the child, but people need to understand that no amount of beating will control the negative behaviours that emanate from autism. It is a developmental problem, not a parenting one. A Mbabane mother to an autistic girl said even though she was naturally a sociable person, her child’s condition had transformed her into an antisocial person. “If I go to a family gathering and people are trying to converse with my daughter, how many people am I going to explain to that, no she can’t have a conversation?” Between managing your child’s behaviour and swallowing the lump on your throat caused by all stinging comments being fired in your direction, there is usually not enough time and energy to explain things.

Family gatherings are also the time when family members share snippets of how well their children are doing at school, what sports they are excelling at, and the clever things they say. Meanwhile, you might still be trying to toilet-train a 6-year-old or trying to teach an 8-year-old to say “mum” or wave properly. (Many children with autism take long to learn to use the toilet. An article on Autism Speaks website attributed this to the general developmental delay that many of them have, difficulty in breaking the long-established routine of wearing diapers, and communication challenges. Some children with autism also have delayed speech, with some finding their voices as late as 8 or 9 years of age or never speaking at all.)

Sitting in the middle of people exchanging progress reports about their typical children is bound to make the parent of an autistic child left out and feeling sorry for him/herself and their challenged offspring. The progress reports are not even the worst of it. Things start to get really ugly when people start to compare their children with your autistic one. I remember a time when my own son was about 4 years old and still had a vocabulary of about 15 words. A friend, whose son was less than 2 years old, dropped by and went on and on about the intelligent things her son was already saying and how very balanced he was for a little person his age. When she ran out of her stories, she ‘modestly’ said, “Oh listen to me going on about my clever child to a person whose son can’t say anything!”

Of course the festive season is gone, but there are still birthdays and other smaller functions during the year. Do invite folks with an autism child too. Ask them how best you can help to ensure both child and parents enjoy the event. Not all autistic children break things, but if you know the particular child you are inviting does break, rather move the breakables out of his reach than shun his family.  And don’t compare that child with your own.

Brownies & Downies - A good model to emulate

Some schools have already opened now and in the swing of things, while the rest will be opening this week. Shopping malls are still a hive of activity with last minute shopping for school requirements such a stationery and uniforms. Parents subject themselves to all the expenses because they see light at the end of the tunnel. They want their children to get everything they need, get good grades and make wise career choices. For children with intellectual disabilities, however, there is a lot of uncertainty regarding where to go after they are done with their high schools studies, sometimes even their primary education, if at all they make it to school to begin with. Not everyone with intellectual challenges has the capacity to enroll for high schools studies. On the other hand, there are many that qualify for high school and even tertiary, yet the educational system is not that accommodating. For the few that do manage to study, the employment market can be very hostile and they might still find themselves twiddling thumbs with no job opportunities.

Employers are usually scared, unwilling, or mistrustful to hire people with disabilities. Two people in Veghel, the Netherlands, came up with a brilliant idea to avail employment opportunities for people with intellectual disabilities. Teun Horck, a chef, and Thijs Swinkels, a special needs teacher, realised that not many people with disabilities were employed in the hospitality sector, and decided to change this. In 2010, they started Brownies & Downies in their home country and the concept soon spread to surrounding European countries. The franchise has since grown by close to 30 stores in the Netherlands. It has even come very close to our own shores – in Cape Town South Africa.

Brownies & Downies is a training centre, in the form of a coffee shop and lunchroom, for people with intellectual disabilities ranging from fetal alcohol syndrome, autism, Down syndrome, to other learning disabilities. Their website states that it is “a vessel to create change and acceptance in the South African culture. Special needs young adults are trained to be employable in the hospitality, service and retail sectors. The Cape Town outlet was started by Wendy Vermeulen, a young woman who initially came to South Africa from the Netherlands, and also noted the lack of employment opportunities for people with intellectual disabilities.

Parents whose children need training phone the shop or email Vermeulen, then meet her at for an assessment of their age and interests. They are then added to the waiting list for training. Schools also sometimes approach the shop for their learners. Brownies & Downies tries to find job placement for the trainees, but some of them come for the training while they are still studying. “So far we have placed 3 people into real jobs at spar. And hopefully we will place some more of young adults in the work field very soon,” said Vermeulen.

She said in the beginning some of the trainees were shy but after a while, their confidence grew. “It is really great to see the trainees opening up and enjoying their work in the coffee shop.”  Regarding how customers react to being waited on by people with intellectual disabilities, she said, “99% of the customers are fine, they absolutely love it. But you always have the odd one who is rude to them or things like that.”

The biggest challenge faced by the establishment, according to Vermeulen, is the lack of knowledge that people have about people with intellectual disabilities, adding that having the young adults working in the coffee shop was good sensitization that people with disabilities can actually do something, they can work; contrary to what some people think.

Going through social media, there appears to be very happy customers for Brownies and Downies, with one hash-tagging #findingabilityindisability. However, some people have misgivings with the name. Name notwithstanding, it is a powerful concept that is helping to change perceptions and put people with intellectual disabilities in circulation with broader society, while taking charge of their lives by being professionals.

I believe the Brownies and Downies concept is doable even here, and not just for the hospitality sector. It could be in mechanics, retail, crafts, fashion, anything. People with intellectual disabilities have their own interests and some of them are exceptionally gifted. Unfortunately in most cases they are not consulted about their own lives, or parents and teachers alike might not take time to observe their areas of interest. Decisions are made for them. Some parents would rather channel financial resources to their typical children who they feel stand a chance of getting employed. Atypical children also need that chance to do what they love and lead fulfilling lives.

Medical and educational experts say early intervention for children with intellectual disabilities can work wonders to improve their condition. If you want such a child to go to work someday, you need to ensure they get the necessary medical care such as therapy, and attend school so that they can learn to take instruction and work within set routines with other people. But for them to go to school, the schools would need to be available and equipped to deal with their respective conditions.

Vermeulen said Brownies & Downies were thinking of expanding and maybe even franchising. Who knows, maybe someone with a big heart is reading this and we might have our own Brownies & Downies in Swaziland and change a few lives and perceptions. Regarding how employers usually shun employing people with disabilities, Wendy encouraged them to take a chance. “Just open your heart and see what amazing people they are. They are just like anybody else. A lot of times, in my experience, even better!” said Vermeulen. If you happen to be in Cape Town and in need of a bite, Brownies and Downies are located in Shop 7, 2 Long Street. 

International Day for People with Disabilities at Ekwetsembeni Special School

Today is International Day for People with Disabilities and I spent the better part of it at Ekwetsembeni Special School in Mbabane. An organisation called Farai Foundation (I hope to write about them soon), with the help of other sponsors, threw a Christmas party for the children at the school. I had planned to go to the function about a week ago, then something upset me and I decided I would spend the day moping. Then early this morning the managing editor of the paper I contribute to called and asked me to come to the function. I wasn’t particularly dismayed about going because I had initially planned to go. I am glad I attended.

Being a mom to an autistic child, there are times when I feel autism is the absolute worst thing that ever happened to this planet. Attending the Ekwetsembeni Christmas party made me think; hmm autism is probably not the worst of conditions (I still wish I could wish it away regardless). I saw children with all manner of physical disabilities, some that I had never seen before. I don’t know if this is a sin, but I found myself with a lump in my throat and hot tears in my eyes asking, “Where was God when all this was happening?” Most of the children were evidently from disadvantaged backgrounds and it was quite sad to think about what their future looked like in country where people with disabilities are not fully supported. It strengthened my resolve to keep raising awareness on disabilities and the pushing for the need to support people with them so that they reach their optimal.

People with disabilities should only fail to get somewhere because of natural limitations that cannot be surpassed, never because society failed them by not creating an enabling environment. What I yearn for all people with disabilities is access to education and health care. The world is too rich for people with disabilities to go through life without those two essential needs. It only takes a bit of commitment from government, the corporate world and society in general to ensure that people with disabilities are able to lead a dignified life. Farai Foundation joined forces with many organisations and the day was a resounding success. It can be done – on an even bigger scale than one day events (not to belittle what Farai Foundation did, but to encourage people that we can go bigger and better). Imagine how the country, or the continent of Africa would be if everyone who could would financially adopt a child with a disability by offering to put him/her through school and providing all the necessities? People resent it when people with disabilities sit by roadsides asking for alms, but how do they not take to the streets if they are not educated?

Congratulations Farai Foundation for hosting a successful event. It was very heartwarming to see how happy the children were. However, I wish the playlist had been more carefully selected. Playing Nasty C's Juice Back and Hell Naw at a children's party was a quite in bad taste.
What have you done lately to assist someone with a disability? 

First Swazi Traditional Wedding I attended

Last week I had the pleasure to attend the first Swazi traditional wedding since relocating here in 2014. It was quite beautiful and captivating as I'd never witnessed anything like it before. In Zimbabwe there are traditional marriages, but I have never heard of a Zimbabwean traditional wedding. How the bride danced the day away!! It was her day to shine, so I thought, dance away girl! I also couldn't help thinking, "I hope her man will give her a reason to dance all the days of their lives together. Even if she doesn't dance, I hope he treats her in a way that  makes her always feel like dancing." The tendency nowadays is to expend so much energy into having the perfect wedding day and be neglectful of perfecting the marriage, or the relationship itself. Best wishes for the future Mr and Mrs Mamba.

Take a look at the pictures. I will be posting the enthralling dance videos in a few days.

The bridal party waiting to usher in the bride with song and dance

Women singing before the arrival of the bride

Here comes the bride. She's hidden under that cloth

Maidens singing at the wedding

The bride dancing up a storm, who needs dancing shoes :)

The groom and his men joined the bridal party after the bride's arrival

They danced towards the bride

These ladies are myself and a friend. That skirt is huge, woolen and heavy and hot!!!!

A choir serenades the guests

This little man rocked his traditional attire for the wedding

I was perplexed, on arrival, to see vendors selling foodstuffs. I thought oh oh, here I was hoping to eat special food only to find I have to buy popcorn and cool drinks from vendors! But there were copious amounts of good food available :).

Tilapia Recipe from Global Village

Chef Sifiso Mhlanga

Serving suggestion

I got this recipe from Chef Sifiso Mhlanga from The Global Village. He is a boisterous young man who said his passion for cooking started when he was still a baby and would cook with sand and water. He owes his love for cooking to his late mother who used to prepare and sell food at the Luve market. From watching his mother, he started cooking for the family before getting training at Oliver’s Restaurant in Nelspruit as well as at Bulembu. “When I prepare something really good, I just wish my mother was here to see it because she’s the one who encouraged me,” he said. He has been with The Global Village for a year but has been cooking since 2002. Chef Sifiso said he loves spoiling his wife, who teaches out of town, with decadent treats when she comes home for the weekend.

 

INGREDIENTS

Ingredients for the whole Tilapia meal

Tilapia fish

Fish spice

Mixed herbs

Cake flour (to dust the fish)

4 lemon rings (to garnish) the fish

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

METHOD:



 ·         Season the fish with fish spice or salt, and mixed herbs.

·         Dust it with cake flour.

·         Fry the fish briefly on both sides, ensuring that it has browned.

·         Move the fish to the grill and grill it until it is golden brown.

·         Remove it and set it aside.



Preparing tilapia for cooking

 

SALAD INGREDIENTS

1 medium onion

1 medium tomato

8 slices of cucumber

Slices of olives

2 mushrooms to garnish the salad

6 cubes feta cheese

Quarter medium carrot, sliced

 

COOKING TIPS

Sealing is a foolproof way to keep your fish juicy.  It is the process of frying the outside surfaces of fish, or any piece of meat, to "seal in" the juices and maximize flavor. The oil in the pan must be very hot. Carefully place the fish into the pan and leave it for 10 to 20 seconds, then flip and do the other side, before putting on the grill to finish cooking. This type of cooking also prevents the fish from sticking to the pan. Be careful when handling very hot oil.

 

 

 

 

The dinner-that-never-was at Global Village Restaurant

Saturday May 14 was our 11^th wedding anniversary. My husband asked me to choose which restaurant to go to. I picked Global Village in Manzini because we had his birthday dinner there, which was perfect, and my friend is the manager there and I wanted to support her business.

We arrived to a lukewarm reception from a self-effacing waitress and we had to ask if they had drinks as she had not offered anything. We planned to have a 3 course meal, and ordered crumbed mushroom and chicken livers from the menu as starters.  They each cost about E50/R50. The waitress said she would go and find out from the kitchen if they had ingredients for our order. She came back with the shocking news that they had neither chicken livers nor mushroomsL. I asked how that could be, because that restaurant is located less than 10 minutes from Manzini town where supermarkets had mushrooms and livers. A punnet of white button mushrooms costs E28 at Pick ‘n Pay, and they serve you less than a third of the punnet. A kilogramme of chicken livers sells for E16, and they give you about E5’s worth as starter. So I could not understand how a whole restaurant could fail to procure commodities that were so cheap and would still have given them a profit.

Moving on, we said so what do you have, she said they had samoosas. We didn’t want samosas so we decided to skip starters and moved to the main course. My husband chose a tilapia dish. The reason why we had settled for Global Village in the first place was because of their tilapia which we enjoyed when I was writing a cooking column for a local newspaper. Read here for their tilapia recipe*. We had always vowed to visit  Global Village again for the fish. The waitress said they did not have tilapia and said my husband could have hake insteadL. He didn’t go there for hake so he declined. I ordered chicken lasagna, and the shy waitress said she would check if they had it. I said they should surely have it because there are chicken dishes here, and chicken is the main ingredient in the lasagna that I want. I was to be dismally disappointed. They didn’t have chicken lasagna eitherL. I said ok what do you have? She said they had pork chops and grilled chicken. If I wanted grilled chicken I would have gone to Nandos, they make the best grilled chicken as far as I’m concerned.



Dessert from Lugogo Sun Hotel

I then asked my husband that we go to Lugogo Sun where they have buffet dinner every day. I was not going to eat what I didn’t like on a special occasion and have an unwanted dinner shoved down my throat by people with zero regard for their customers. We were paying customers for crying out loud, so why were we supposed to be the ones that bend over backwards to impress the restaurant with our patience with their bad service? It’s as if people just expect you to understand that they’re not serious and you should just grin and bear it and say it’s ok. No it’s not OK that by 8pm I was still driving around to the next restaurant with a rumbling stomach. I was quite hungry! We told the waitress that we were just paying for the drinks and would find food elsewhere, and she said OKK. Well, we took our money elsewhere, and that’s what I would want everyone to do – walk out on service providers that are not out to impress you and give you value for your hard-earned cash.

On our way to Lugogo Sun, I felt it was wrong to just go quietly without talking to my friend, the manager at Global Village. She had to know so that she could try and salvage the situation. I sent her a text reading:

Hi *Name* we’d come to clelebrate our 11^th anniversary at your place but we’ve left without eating. We wanted mushrooms and livers as starter but were told there were none. Then main meal we wanted tilapia and chicken lasagna and were told we also couldn’t have that. So we’re not going to Lugogo SunL. 1kg liver costs R16 in town and mushrooms are there at Spar. We will bring our own food next time, because we know where to find it, then the chefs will just cookJ.

She responded saying sorry and that she would deal with the issue. I wonder how many more customers just walk our quietly and spread the word on the bad service. Word of mouth can actually floor a business.

I had avoided Lugogo Sun initially because I was trying to avoid the buffet, which I feel prompts me to overindulge a little. They always have a wide array of meats to pick from – chicken curry, chicken stew, roast chicken, leg of lamb, roast beef or pork, goat stew – you want it, they’re bound to have it. They also make the most delectable eclairs, cakes, custard, pudding, ice cream for dessert. Don’t get me started on their yummy creamy soup of the day. No, they didn’t pay me to say this, and yes, they’re that good! They also make the best pizza in town, which I didn’t have the pleasure of eating on this day. As soon as we got into their restaurant, I looked around, felt my taste buds tingling with anticipation, and thought, “Now we’re talkingJ!” We had a good dinner at Lugogo Sun, and guess what, they had mushrooms! YayJ.  All is well that ends well. To 11 x 11 more years!