Showing posts with label HHP. Show all posts
Showing posts with label HHP. Show all posts

Tuesday, 25 June 2019

Who surrounds you?


I know I wrote about late South African rapper, Jabulani Tsambo aka HHP before. While I didn’t count myself among his biggest fans, I found him to be very profound and sure-footed. It came as a shock to realise he had such serious personal battles that ended up taking his life. I used to pay attention when he spoke, and following his passing, I’ve also listened to what other people say about him.
Jabulani Tsambo aka HHP
I came across a video on YouTube where Kabomo, a South African artist, was speaking at HHP’s memorial service. He said many wonderful things about the late rapper who lost his life to suicide, but what touched my heart most was when he said HHP was a king, who in his dark times did not have enough people reminding him that he was a king. He asked, “Who surrounds you to remind you of your magic when you don’t remember that you’ve got some?” That blew me away.
Sometimes life deals us very huge blows. Blows that make us wonder if we will ever smile again. During such times, it helps to have someone in your corner. However, more often than not, we never really tell those close to us how much we are struggling. If we ever do, we downplay our agony and no-one really gets to know how heavy our burdens are. During our dark days, we are likely to focus more on the things that have gone wrong in our lives without paying attention to those that could make us smile and get us excited about life again. If we can’t remember how to be excited about anything, then that might be the time for our friends to chip in.
My experiences in life have taught me to take care of Number 1 before anyone else. My children are my world, and one would probably wonder why I don’t choose to place their needs before mine. The concept is pretty much similar to the instructions we get during flights. Wear your oxygen mask first before attempting to assist a weaker person. I cannot be a good mom to my children if I’m not in the right space emotionally, spiritually, psychologically, even physically. You have to be fully functional if you are to be effective. That brings me to how to the point of how to stay functional. We need to be careful about the people who surround us and whose voices we listen to with regards to our lives. The wrong people can drain the life out of you until you have no idea whether you are coming or going. They can make you feel you are a smithereen in the bigger scheme of things, most likely because they work hard to break you into one. The wrong voices in our ears can kill your zest for life and stun you into ineptitude.  It’s usually people with small personalities that feel their candles shine brighter when they blow out other people’s. Unfortunately, in our moments of vulnerability, even the weak seeking validity by trying to make others (us) look smaller start to sound very sensible.
We need to trust our own voices, believe in ourselves so that we don’t seek validation from other people. Not everyone has your best interest at heart. I have a friend that always says to me, “Take care of your heart.” I’m passing the same message to you. Look around you; Who surrounds you? Never underestimate the power of negative energy around you. Whose voice do you listen to regarding how important you are to the universe? Do they say things that make you praise God for their presence in your life? If not, step away! There is only one you.


Friday, 26 October 2018

SILENT BATTLES


Jabulani Tsambo AKA HHP
We are skeptical about pain we don’t physically see. We are doubting Thomases that only believe after seeing a visible scar.    

The death of South African Hip Hop artist, Jabulani Tsambo, whose stage name was HHP has broken the hearts of many South Africans and people from other parts of the world whose lives he touched. HHP was on record for disclosing that he had attempted to die by his own hand thrice in 2015. When he disclosed that, not many people took him seriously. As with most depression cases, people thought that he was attention-seeking or just exaggerating. In fact, one radio DJ came under fire for asking on air, “Why would someone that famous want to commit suicide?” The fire was not necessary. It was a question on many people’s minds. HHP was a delight to listen to when he spoke.  I’d actually sit down and listen to him. He appeared to be happy and very much in touch with himself and one would think he had it all – talent, respect in the industry, a huge fan base, and maybe enough money to keep him comfortable. Getting a breakthrough in the entertainment industry is not easy for many, but he was up there being counted among the best. There was just this aura of positivity and someone who was comfortable in his own skin about him. He appeared to be working his way out of the woods, but I guess the darkness that engulfed him eventually overcame the light.  In light of what has happened now, can it be concluded that all that was just a farce? Was he really positive one moment and then the darkness would engulf him the next?

The question comes back again, why would someone like that want to die and not enjoy life? Why would someone like that not count his many blessings? There are many paupers on the streets, people living wretched lives yet they don’t take themselves out, why would someone who seemingly had it all want to end it all? Those are the questions many would ask. I used to ask that question too, but I’m slowly trying to learn what I can about depression and how this horrible, horrible condition afflicts people and takes the joy out of life. This post by a writer who suffers from depression, Stirling Gardner helped me put things into perspective a whole lot more on the subject. It is not just ‘losers’ or poor people that take their own lives. Famous and seemingly well-to-do people also do. They have their own serious issues to deal with, regardless of outwardly looking like everything is honky dory. Think of America comedian Robin Williams, wildly popular musician Avicii, renowned artist Vincent van Gogh, HHP’s compatriots pioneering cardiologist Professor Bongani Mayosi, actress Shoki Mokgapa, actor Christopher Kubheka, and many others. What this means is, even your strong friends or those that seem to have it together also need looking out for.My fear, though, with big stars taking their own lives is that it brings so much disillusionment to the ordinary person suffering from depression. It could make one feel, "If people like HHP could not cope, there is absolutely no hope for someone like me." Yet HHP was just a human being like the rest. After getting off the stage, he would go back home to face his own demons and struggles.

Many a time we have thrown that word around  as if it is something very light, like, Oh my goodness! Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have broken up! Now I'm seriously depressed." That is not depression. It is quite a heavy subject, especially on the souls of those it afflicts, more so because it has no visible tell-tale signs. If you have a broken arm, people will drive you around, help with carrying your groceries, and make the right sounds to make you feel they care and they see your pain. It is a different ball game when it is something inside your head that is broken. People can’t see it. When it does show up, it usually manifests in very negative ways that probably further distances people from the sufferer.

I believe the black community needs a lot of assistance in understanding depression and its grave, excuse the pun, consequences. I was one of those people that thought depressed people must just make an effort to save their own lives, not allow themselves to sink. They could just take a walk, go and watch a movie, or listen to their favourite music, and feel better. Now I know better. A severely depressed person can't even bring himself get out of bed, let alone put one foot in front of the other to take a walk. There isn’t even a word for depression in most African languages, including my own, Shona. Any disease of the mind is just described as madness. It doesn’t matter if it’s autism, schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, depression or anything in-between. If your brain is not functioning as it should, you’re definitely mad. The result is a huge stigma attached to all those with diseases of the mind, and many just clam up to avoid getting labelled. Also with the poverty levels in most black African communities, it only makes sense to go for medical attention when you are suffering from physical pain of some sort – headache, diarrhoea, high blood pressure, and the like. People are just walking around with no diagnoses, oblivious to the fact that they are depressed and in desperate need of medical attention. We need help explaining how to tell when your mind is hurting, because it does. What are the symptoms, where do you go for help? There is a big gap when it comes to addressing mental illnesses. 
 It is a phenomenon that intrigues and terrifies me. It hurts families, and people believe people who commit suicide are selfish. Experts say the signs are usually there, but most people do not see them for what they are. It’s just usually seen as acting out, until it’s too late. An example is that of the late Rhodes University student, Khensani Maseko, who committed suicide after allegedly getting raped by her boyfriend. She posted her birth and death dates, as well as other tell-tale signs that she was not coping psychologically on Twitter. People only started paying serious attention after she had already died.
Images Khensani Maseko posted on her Instagram before taking her own life

It really is time for that serious conversation, as black people, about how the mind, like any other body parts, also gets sick. When that happens, it needs to be treated and support is needed for people struggling internally. It is not a shameful thing when your mind fails to cope with life’s stressors. It’s not a laughable matter. It is a very serious issue that can cost lives when it goes untreated. It is costing lives, many, many lives, and one life lost to suicide is one life too many. Some suicides can definitely be avoided. 

I have written about suicide and how it is viewed in the African context, as well as mental health issues in general. Please visit the links below.