Back to Desolate Basics

So I’m back online after a long obligatory hiatus. What drudgery life has become! I never imagined relocating from one country to the other would be this hard. Almost six months down the line, the euphoria of moving to a quieter country with hospitable folks, lower crime statistics, vibrant culture, and tasty sweet potatoes is long gone. I now have the prospect of evolving from a clued-up woman to a village idiot staring me squarely in the face.

Scenic Swaziland

When I arrived in Swaziland from South Africa, I knew it would take us a little while to acclimatise, but never imagined it would be this frustrating. In South Africa I could read all the blogs I wanted, tweet, pin as many boards I wanted on Pinterest for crafts that I love, get recipes and workouts online, and still have left over data at the end of the month. I enjoyed Twitter so much as I always had fresh news at the tips of my fingertips. I have now missed a lifetime of tweets and feel so very miserable. The only time I was happy not to have internet was on Mother’s Day. I was spared the me-mes from gushing moms who bragged about this, that and the other done by their adoring children while mine was a non-event.

In Swaziland I got a rude awakening. Internet cost is astronomical. For E39, equivalent to R39, I only get 50MB which wouldn’t last me two days if I were to access the sites I like. I feel totally uprooted, I’m a fish out of water. At first I thought I’d get accustomed to it, but it’s not happening. Blogging is my newfound passion, my only escape from the humdrum of life and my lonesome existence. Now it has been wrenched from my grasp.I think I now have a rough idea how it feels to be castrated.

During the first few days here I didn’t think I would survive without internet, but here I am, still standing.  I was accustomed to surfing at the drop of a hat. I see an actor or musician I like, and off I run to Google to find out about their life. I’ve now been reduced to typing my blog posts at home, load them on my flash drive, and then post them at some internet café. Before posting this one, I made a few trips to the café, only to find the internet down, or that the cafe was full. Once accessed, the internet is ridiculously slow. And I risk carrying viruses back to my computer, but it’s a risk I’m prepared to take. I’m not just going to just sit and let my brain and my passion just shrivel, collapse and die. I’ve gone for so long without writing and doing things I love I can almost physically feel my brain being corroded by rust. I really feel trapped and angry, even though I don’t know who to direct my anger at. Woe betide anybody who treads on my toes because I’m just itching to slap someone in the face to offset my sense of heavy loss.

While I feel totally blacked out, the several months I’ve been without internet have been quite productive. I think I had somewhat neglected my son because my attention was too divided.  I discovered he was suddenly getting some letters of the alphabet wrong out of the blue. We were working on the alphabet using flash cards and when I flashed ‘a’ he shouted, “P for apple”, and when I flashed ‘n’, with a bewildered look on his face he asked, “What letter is that, mummy?”

I have sung my lungs out so much during the past months that I’d give Joan Armatrading a run for her money. I didn’t think I still remembered nursery rhymes like Row, Row Your Boat, Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star, Incy Wincy Spider, Jesus Loves Me, and many others. I had also forgotten I had enviable (only to my kids) dance moves, and the pre-school teacher inside me improvised lots of games to entertain my children.

I realize my kids might have actually missed me because of my phone, and that’s shameful. If I ever manage to have internet at home, which looks highly unlikely at the moment, I will ensure that I set aside days when I don’t go online so that I can connect with them on a more regular basis.  I wouldn’t consider voluntarily cutting myself out of the world like this, though; I don’t think I deserve it. Mummy has a life too and needs to recharge her batteries.