Tuesday, 24 November 2015

Random Pictures from Mauritius

I saw this pretty little bird at Bois Cheri
We went to Bois Cheri for tea tasting. It was raining, perfect weather for gallons of tea!
The Statue of Shiva
I wonder if there are no health implications to guzzling gasoline and spiting fire like dragons



These fire displays were a marvel to watch





More displays kept the crowd enchanted at Sofitel Hotel


 Even Mauritius has its own slums
 




A statue of Shiva at Sofitel


A family having fun at the beach, Sofitel


Another family having fun and making me miss my kids


Dancers entertaining guests


Salt Pans


Men loading sugar cane at a rum manufacturing plant , Chamarel



Rum being distilled


A sales assistant marketing products at Chamarel




Drinkers heaven at Chamarel


Tourists tasting the rum at Chamarel
Sugar varieties, also manufactured at Chamarel



I wanted to get one of these darlings but my husband said they looked spooky #curseoftheblackdoll :(




This bag screamed my name but was a bit pricey


Loved this decor idea at Sofitel


No-one could explain the significance of these shrines placed in mountains by road sides. I wonder if they signify that someone lost their lives at that spot, like the roadside crosses in South Africa and Zimbabwe


.
Loved the stone basin and the wood supporting it in a bathroom at Chamarel




Wednesday, 18 November 2015

The Loyalty of Dogs



I am an ardent dog lover, even though I sadly do not have one at the moment. I grew up with dogs as brothers and sisters, even though I had human siblings too. I vividly remember their names – Savage, Soft, Dissident, Winds, and after the first Winds died, we had yet another Winds, who I loved dearly.
In the run-up to the commemoration of the 9/11 attacks, there were numerous documentaries, which I avidly followed. Of the many moving accounts I listened to, I was particularly drawn to the one about Salty, a Labrador Retriever.  He was a guide dog that guided his visually challenged owner, Omar Rivera, who worked on the 71st floor of Tower 1 of the World Trade Center to safety. Also playing hero at the time of the attacks was Roselle, another Labrador Retriever who also led her owner, Michael Hingson, to safety. Read here for detailed accounts of the dogs’ heroic antics.
There are countless stories of dogs doing awesome things that will just bedazzle you. Because I love canines so much, their stories always catch my attention. I recently read about the tear-jerking story of a pregnant dog in Chile breastfeeding a starving 2-year-old, and another dog rescuing a newborn baby that had been dumped in a bin. In light of all the wonderful things that dogs do, I don’t understand it when people describe things that have  deteriorated as having “gone to the dogs”. Going to the dogs should actually be a good thing as there is a lot to be emulated from these four-legged friends. People also describe misery as “a dog’s life”, and a messy situation is described as looking like “a dog’s breakfast”. In my mother-tongue, among the worst insults you can ever get from anyone is to be called “Imbwa yemunhu!”
Let me get back to my own dog story. On the days I came back home from university after a long time, Winds would run for me and fall short of tripping me with joy. He would then gently take my wrist between his jaws and walk with me to the house. This he did to avoid any of my parents’ lodgers shaking my hand in greeting. If anybody dared, woe betides! When I was heavily pregnant and had to go home to visit my hospitalized mother, I was sure winds would not remember me, but lo and behold he was still madly excited to see me. Winds was the epitome of home. If any of my sisters went home, we would all ask after Winds’ health. He was a crucial part of the family. At around the age of three or four, my son, Victor, was a cry baby. If I sneezed, sometimes he would start crying in annoyance and if we asked what he was crying for, he would say, “Ndiri kuchemera madzihwa.” Loosely translated it means I’m crying for your mucous, but he actually meant he was annoyed or upset about my sneezing. One day he sneezed and I started imitating his wailing. Winds was sitting next to me, and immediately started howling with me in the same manner. It was the most mind-blowing moment of my relationship with the dog.  My mother was sitting with us and was equally tickled by Winds’ behaviour. Funny as it was, it just showed me Winds’ empathetic side, something I have failed to get from some human beings I’ve met in the walk of life.
Winds’ compassion didn’t end there. About two years after the crying incident, my mother took ill and could not get out of her room for some days. Winds was very perceptive and knew this was unheard of. Mum was always hustling and bustling around the yard and never went down with anything. Dogs in our household were not allowed to come and sit in the house, but Winds too his chances. He would make his way to mum’s room and just sit on the floor, watching her. No one chased him away because they could all feel his pain. Another time when exceptions had to be made was during the festive season when fire crackers would go off during the night. He would get into the house, tail between his legs like a new son-in-law and curl into a miserable ball at our feet.  Winds would be so petrified it was sad to watch. Sometimes, however, we would find him sleeping on beds with his head on the pillow, like the pigs in George Orwell’s Animal Farm even though there were no firecrackers.
My son was a handful sometimes, and to get him to co-operate, I had to threaten him with a stick. Winds did not stand for that. As soon as he saw me with the stick, he would come for me guns blazing! He would bark angrily until I dropped the stick. One day I defied him and he bit me on the left foot. He was also very intolerant of people treading on his tail.  All hell would break loose. Unfortunately he liked sitting in the dark passageway where trampling his tail was inevitable.   
Winds was trained to go to the back of the house if he needed to relieve himself. Like any naughty child, however, sometimes he would just drop it at the front of the house where his little heap would be the first to greet visitors. My brother, upon seeing it, would ask, “Winds, chii icho?” (Winds, what is that?) Winds would melt away to the back of the house with the Greg Focker of Meet the Parents hangdog look after he was caught out on bringing home a fake Mr Jinx.
Everyone in my family has their own sweet Winds story. When my father called to let me know that Winds had died, I wept quietly. He was a part of our family and showed us that it’s quite possible to love another species more than members of your own. I prepared a good meal in his memory, and asked my husband and son to bow their head as we observed a moment of silence in respect of our dearly departed shaggy friend and almost brother.
This was a long and winding version of my supreme respect for dogs, which look out for the interest of humans, and my consummate revulsion of fellow human beings who torment both animals and those of their own ilk. I feel sick to the pit of my stomach when I see pictures of trophy hunters and hear news of senseless killings around the world. This past weekend Paris was attacked and at least 130 people were killed. Not too long ago, Garissa University in Nairobi was attacked and at least 147 students killed. It has become a daily occurrence. People get murdered, raped, and abused in all manner and former by fellow human beings. What happened to being your brother’s keeper? May God intervene.      


Friday, 6 November 2015

Little bursts of colour to lift my spirits

The euphoria of moving from South Africa to Swaziland is long gone for me. I now find the place pretty dreary and depressing for many reasons. Apparently, I'm not the only miserable person in the kingdom. Swaziland is current experiencing a very serious drought that has seen more than 10 000 cattle dying. It's a very sad situation and the farmers are distraught, with some of them seriously contemplating suicide. 
What I have learned though, amidst all the low spirits, is that there is always something to cheer you up if you look around you. What cheers me up are my kids and how they make me laugh, and the breathtaking landscape around me which I can never get enough of. I'm always taking pictures everywhere I go. At the moment I'm loving the vibrant colours around my town, Manzini. Flowers and trees are in full bloom. It is hard to believe that it is the same country facing an acute drought. For me the flowers are God's way of saying to me, "Hello Child! Cheer up. It's not all doom and gloom out here!" Unfortunately I don't know all the names of the flowers and trees, but I love them anyway. I probably just know the Jacaranda, bougainvillea and cactus. Some of them flowers trigger a lot of nostalgia from times gone by and places I've been. Check out the loveliness around Manzini below. I will continue taking more and updating, it's fast turning into a joyous obsession. Do come back to this post to check for updates. Enjoy!


I saw this one near the Manzini bus rank


This one was also near the bus rank
I love these flowers at the Manzini Methodist Church


This one is on a residence along Masalesikhundleni Street
This flower is all over the show, including in bushes
These are common in Manzini and remind me of Mauritius
I love this tree, also on my street



This one reminds me of Dowa, West of Rusape, Zimbabwe

We had this prickly hedge at my primary school in Rusape

I found this on my street as well



This tree and cacti are outside So Fresh Lounge, a restaurant down my street

These yellow darlings are the saving grace of an overgrown area near my house


Not much colour here, but I loved the bulbs that looks like the baobab fruit

It's also purple rain season here! Remind me of exam time during my school days.

I love the autumn colour of the leaves on that tree

That tree is at my house

One of my firm favourites although it doesn't look like much!



Thursday, 5 November 2015

Of mushroom allergy and Perthes disease

There just appears to be no end to  some very weird ailments and allergies around the world. Because  I constantly have to explain autism to everyone who meets my son, I’m also keen to know about other conditions that I don’t know about. I met this lovely woman at the beginning of the year at Sibane Hotel in Swaziland. She was on holiday with her family, and we struck up a conversation. My son had slipped out of the room and went into the deep end of the pool, almost drowned,  and the woman and her husband were there to help him. I explained to her that my son was autistic, and she went on to tell me about conditions that she also has – mushroom allergy and Perthes disease.
Lindiwe told me that she had a severe allergy to cooked mushrooms, an  allergy she realised in her adult life. The condition is not communicable or hereditary but is a fungal infection. If she ate a mushroom, her tongue would immediately swell up and her throat would close up. “From an early age I suffered from sinus, was constantly on nasal sprays which blocked my sense of smell until 6 years. Now my mushroom allergy became real as I could now smell mushrooms and would have a reaction from their aroma,” she said. Lindiwe said she now goes into anaphylatic shock (often life threatening reaction), which has caused her to carry ephipen injection, just in case she needs it. Unfortunately with an anaphylactic shock reaction an antihistamine does not work for her, an ephipen injection is the only form of medication that the reaction responds to. She would need to rush to the ER for further treatment.
Having this allergy has caused Lindiwe to always be on pins and needles when going to restaurants because she can never tell if there will be mushrooms being served or not. She said visiting her friends was much easier as they already knew and were accommodating.  “Due to the seriousness of my allergy, I have learned to ask hosts in advance to not have cooked mushrooms in the house. However, with people I am not acquainted with, I have often had to rush off as my reaction kicks in.  At my office, they stopped serving mushrooms if I am attending a particular function, this includes client dinners.”
To be on the side of caution, Lindiwe always tells new people  she meets about her allergy, and if they are people she’s close to, she also tells them where she keeps her medication should she have a reaction. She said most people are shocked as they cannot believe such an allergy exists as it is so rare. Lindiwe encourages people to be more sensitive and accommodating to people with life-threatening allergicreactions, no matter how weird and strange they sound. The Asthma and Allergy Foundation of America (AAFA) reports that food allergies can cause respiratory, digestive and skin health symptoms.
People with such mushroom allergies may also be allergic to other fungal forms, such as molds or yeast. Ingesting foods that carry molds, such as cheeses or grapes, may trigger allergy symptoms. The National Institutes of Health (NIH) report that inhaling airborne spores from molds or mushrooms can also make some patients ill.

Perthes disease


Perthes disease is a bone degenerative condition affecting mostly children between the ages of four and 10 years of age.  It is more common amongst boys. Lindiwe remembers that as a young girl she was constantly in pain and was often in hospital for observation. 
She only got an official diagnosis when she was  19, at which time she was tired of taking painkillers. Having Perthes disease can be debilitating, because you can’t run or jump and are often in pain. After all her efforts to get treatment  came to nothing, she eventually went to Orthopeadic surgeons and discovered she had Perthes disease, and most importantly how to fix it. In August 2000, she had her first total hip replacement. “Best thing I ever did for myself!” she said.  “The operation is complicated as a lot can go wrong, but praise God mine was successful,” she added. Full recovery took about four months. Lindiwe said having a hip replacement stopped Perthes disease it from turning into severe arthritis.
“I have met a few people, some refusing to have a hip replacement. Having a prosthesis changes your life and becomes a cycle as you have to replace it every 10 to 15 years because the prosthesis has  a lifespan,” she said.
Despite having such complications in her life, Lindiwe just oozes positive energy and the allergy has not done much to dampen her zest for life. She plays golf, enjoys going on holiday with her family, and swims and hasa job that she loves. “I do eat out a lot, but generally avoid breakfasts, especially buffet breakfasts as they are most likely to serve mushrooms. When going out with friends, they are very considerate so none of them will have mushrooms in my presence.” I am very cautious with my life. From year 2000, my greatest fear became “falling”. So I do not run or jump and I walk slowly to avoid the risk of falling. I also tell people about Perthes disease and make them aware of the symptoms, especially if they have young children. I want people to know that it it a complex disease, it exists and there is a cure for it.”















Tuesday, 3 November 2015

Restful weekend at Mlawula Game Reserve

The chalets
Last weekend I had the pleasure of visiting Mlaula Game Reserve, situated in north-eastern Swaziland, towards its border with Mozambique. It was quite an experience to be far from the madding crowd of Manzini. The first thing that struck us was how well-spoken and groomed the security guard was. We had a feeling he was a casualty of the high unemployment rate in the country, or else he would not have been a security guard.
We stayed at the Magadzavane Lodge which comprises of grass-thatched chalets. It’s the greenest place I’ve ever been to. All the furnishings inside the rooms were made of wood – the headboard, stairs to children’s loft, table, chairs, blinds, roofing timber, and lamp shade. I was quite impressed by the simplicity. I was also glad they were insightful enough to place fire extinguishers around the place. My children were quite enchanted by the loft bedroom. We had our hands full trying to keep them, especially the 22 month-old off the ladder.
The loft bedroom for the kids
The lodge is surrounded by majestic mountain ranges that take your breath away and give you a breath of fresh air at the same time. It makes you realise the importance of conserving nature, because being away from the concrete jungle is an experience one should have if opportunity affords.
 On the evening of our arrival, we took a walk but could not really follow the 45 minute walking trail as we had children, it was getting dark, and we were not sure if we would be safe all along. The walking trail is surrounded by virginal forest and if you are lucky, you will see wild animals darting around. Mlaula does not have the Big Five, so walking around is quite safe, if you can keep your eyes peeled for serpents which abound around the place. I have a serious aversion for snakes so I would never be caught dead prancing in their territory.
Mountains surrounding the lodge
The next day we were bright and early for our game viewing which started at 0600 AM. I can’t describe how I felt seeing animals in their natural habitat. It was among the most exhilarating experiences of my life and I found myself wishing my animal loving father in Zimbabwe were around. I had seen wild animals before, in chance encounters when I was passing by game reserves, or at the zoo. The zoo experience has nothing on the game reserve one. I could not help but feel sorry for zoo animals which are enclosed and do not know the joy of just running wild. Pictures are however quite difficult to take in the game reserve because the vegetation provided good camouflage for the animals and many of them were quite shy and quickly scurried for cover upon hearing the sound of the truck. What I enjoyed seeing most were the wildebeests running. I did not expect to them to be that fast for animals so big.
Male Impalas
There is a pool at the lodge, though not a very friendly one. It is much too deep for those who can’t swim, and at the time my son wanted to swim, it had broken glass in it. That aside, this is a place I would recommend for someone who would like to have a quiet getaway. Ours was unfortunately not so quiet, as there was a group having a party or something of that nature. People should, however, remember to carry their own toilet rolls and soap. The roll we found in our room was almost finished and the tablet of soap much too small for a family of four intending to bath in the evening and the next morning. If anyone of us had come down with diarrhea during the night, we would have found ourselves in a seriously sticky situation considering that there are no phones in the chalets to call housekeeping. As far as the soap went, I was lucky to be travelling with a family that hates bathing, so I ended up having the soap all to myself. See more pictures below.


Egyptian ducks


Herd of Wilderbeest

Female Impala

The head of a male impala and the front view of a hippo's head

Outdoor shower

Spot the monkey


Side view of a hippo's head. How big is it! Imagine those jaws on someone's limb.

Tortoise

Most graceful animal on the planet, the zebra






Wednesday, 28 October 2015

What does 'aging gracefully' mean?

I was thinking of a discussion I had with one beauty therapist, and it resulted in this post. She said when you hit 30 years of age, you should start using anti-aging products to protect the skin from the effects of the ticking clock. So I was just reflecting on what else involves aging gracefully.
I want to age gracefully, and believe that the person I will become when I’m old and shriveled is dependent on the decisions I make now, how I live my life at this moment. I think aging gracefully involves being content about life, embracing the metamorphosis that my body will go through without kicking and screaming and competing with teenagers, and being an old woman that inspires younger people, making them realise that it’s not all doom and gloom in the twilight years.
I can’t be a gratified old woman if I don’t live my life to my full potential, because that is what would make me kick and scream against my age, always wish I could turn back the hands of time and fulfill my dreams. i want to be able to do the things that I set out to do and be able to crush the obstacles that I meet along the way. i want, when I hit 70, to feel that I was responsible for my life and not feel resentful of anyone for having snatched my blessings from me. Everybody is running their own race, and I want to be glorious in my own without allowing anyone to keep their lane and invade mine too.

"Lord make me absolutely honest and don’t let me be too poor or too rich. Give me just what I need. If I have too much to eat, I might forget about you; if I don’t have enough, I might steal and disgrace your name." Proverbs 30: 8-9

Being wealthy has never been one of my goals in life. I, however, do not want the burden of black tax being saddled on my children who also have to worry about their own lives. I’m not looking after them so that they can one day #paybackthemoney, no, I’m not a loan shark. I am their mother and want to set them up for a good life one day. I want to be comfortable without being filthy rich, without ever showing up at my children’s door every day reminding them “forget not those who raised you”, demanding eternal gratitude. I also don’t want my children showing up daily on my doorstep asking for money because I believe I’m making enough effort right now to ensure that I wean them off one day and have sufficiently prepared them to live independent lives. If they keep coming back to me, then I’ll probably be disappointed with them and myself, wondering where I went wrong raising them.  
You can’t age gracefully if you feel you spent your years serving other people, especially a spouse, and did nothing for yourself. For that reason, I strive to also live my life for me. I should love my children and spouse and must never allow life to get to a point where I feel I’ve been robbed of my life. Marriage is, regrettably, one life decision that makes a lot of people toss and turn in their graves with bitterness. It should be about sharing, give and take. The society that raised me believes women should give up their lives for their husbands through misrepresentation of culture and religion. I’ll keep my eye on the ball; I want to age gracefully so I will insist on taking as much as I give. I don’t want to end up biting my husband’s heads off and always chanting, “You idiot! I gave you 40 freaking years of my life!!” I should always remember that marriage is about companionship, sharing a life. It’s not glorified enslavement. I want to also walk away with something from the years, not feel I always gave and never received.
I don’t ever want to be a bitter old woman whose utterances people always put down to senility. I know a number of old people like that, who always put their foot in it and people want to vindicate them and end up saying aah varegererei kani vakura (leave them alone, can’t you see they’re old now?) after they have offended others. The kind of old people who are just nasty and people put it down to age when it’s just sheer wickedness, I’ve seen a number of them and each family has one or two. Age is not supposed to make people malicious. I think people are supposed to be mellower as they grow older, but I doubt that can happen when you have unfulfilled hopes and dreams and feel you have unfinished business and the world owes you a whole lot more before you are relegated to pushing daisies. You can’t believe nor stand how time has passed you by, and you look at younger people living their lives and you feel the bile rising up your throat. You want to throw up on what they have achieved because you didn’t get your chance.
Gym is painful and picking what food you put into your body isn’t too much fun either. But I’m going to persist in taking care of my body without aspiring to ever look like Naomi Campbell. I don’t want to be an obese grandma that looks at toned people my age and turn yellow, wishing I had jogged when my knees still permitted.
Like wine, I want to get better with age. I want to be a fountain on knowledge for the younger people around me. For that reason, I’ll read widely for my own gratification and to benefit those around me too. I would also not want to be the all work and no play kind of old woman. I would want to be the Mbuya Mlambo kind of woman, who kids can still come to for a bit of fun.
When my time comes, I hope I’ll be able to check out with a smile, knowing that I ran my race and accomplished everything that I set out to do.
Song – don’t stop thinking about tomorrow

As usual, I wanted to find out what my friends thought around aging:

Vision: ageing is a thing of the past. If Aids won’t kill me, a bomb somewhere might. Too much going on nowadays.


Tatenda: Aging gracefully means enjoying sex in my old age, looking good for my age, having achieved things on my life’s to-do list, travelling, and being able to enjoy and afford the finer things in life. 

Miriam: I will accept that I’m aging by wearing what’s suitable for my age and being as natural as possible, e.g. wouldn’t want to be seen wearing bright lipstick or something like that. I would like to tend a small garden at the back of my house just to do something, not be seen still employed especially in a foreign land. I would have invested for this time, of course.

Erica: Aging gracefully means accepting change, i.e. physical changes and finding meaningful activities to occupy myself with. I’m not going to worry over my sagging boobs, my hair turning grey or my period disappearing for good.

Milcah: Aging gracefully for me is still having my ideal weight, still enjoying hobbies, maintaining inner and outer beauty, and emptying my bucket list.

Susan: Aging gracefully involves saving for a house (preferably country/farm house) where I can have a garden, a dog or two, chickens. Pension in place, eating clean from my produce mostly, exercising and clean air in the country, travelling - close to nature, going to my natural hair, spending time with loved ones, minding my own business, wines, teas, fireplaces, having few but quality things – clothes, food, holidays, less stress especially on things I can’t change, connecting with my spiritual side, doing more good.

Sihle: Aging gracefully is an all-rounder. It takes all aspects of our lives like exercising and eating right, reading to stay abreast  with new happenings and to keep your mind sharp, doing what makes you happy, because when you are a happy person you are able to effectively help your family, making time to help other people, getting involved in community activities and so on. If you are fortunate to realise your purpose, you should run with it, not just be idle.   

Tadiwa: you age gracefully when you have no bitterness; you accomplished what you wished for like shelter and good education for the kids.

Bright: aging is a challenge or nightmare to most. In order to age well, you should have the right state of mind (less stress and/or knowing how to deal with stressful situations). I guess exercising, eating healthy and general fitness will get you there. Of course some people can get very old without enjoying their lives because they can’t afford the above. Imagine if at 60 you can’t afford varsity fees for your children. It will trouble you for the rest of your life.

Mirrie: The key is to enjoy and accept the age you are. For example, you don’t act too young when you are much older. An older man shouldn’t be seen chasing after little girls when he’s supposed to be concentrating on his family. I think for me it also means being well-provided for, looking good, and being happy.