My experiences with Jehovah's Witnesses

Publications I regularly get from Jehovah's Witnesses

Recently I read a story about members of Jehovah’s Witnesses (JW) church in Zimbabwe, who were suing Arundel School for forcing their children to attend Anglican Mass. 

The parents were arguing that they would prefer that their children be exempted from the Anglican Church services as they only worship in the Kingdom Halls. It became a very emotive issue when readers shared their opinions regarding the issue. Most people called JW a cult and suggested they build their own schools, not impose their ideologies on a school whose ideals they knew before enrolling their children. 

JW have been the butt of every religious joke for as long as I can remember, but I think most of the time people judge them out of turn. One of my favourite comedies, Coming to America also made fun of JW. Theo, Lisa’s father realised that Hakeem was actually a rich prince and immediately decided he wanted nothing to do with the American boyfriend with the oily perm, Darryl. While Hakeem was in the house, trying to make sense of Theo’s new attitude, Darryl came knocking on the door, which Theo immediately slammed in his face, smiled at Hakeem, waved his hand perfunctorily and said, “Jehovah’s Witnesses!”

I like to keep an open mind about people and philosophies. I want to have a firsthand experience on something or with someone before I dismiss them. At school when I was younger, I remember there was always a friendless schoolmate who everybody shunned on the simple basis that, “people say she is snobbish”, without anyone ever having a firsthand account of the snobbishness. In the neighbourhood, there was also, almost always, a lonely old woman who everybody feared because “vanhu vanoti vanoroya” (people say she is a witch).  What a sad and juvenile way to go through life.

When I was a child, there was an old woman in the neighbourhood who everyone called Mbuya Ruredzo Mustawara (derived from one of JW’s publications The Watchtower). Nobody else was called by their churches, like So and So the Catholic, or Jim the Methodist. I have a few memorable experiences with JW. When I used to stay in Harare, my neighbour was a Witness. In 2007, she offered to do bible studies with me and brought her friends along. They were among the loveliest people I ever met. In them I found friends that stood by me through some of my difficult moments. Eventually I had to move houses and never got to see them again.

I didn’t do bible study with JW for a very long time, until in 2010 when I met a Zimbabwean woman in Randburg, South Africa, from the church. I resumed studies with her and had fun. The studies kept me on my toes in terms of my bible reading. Sometimes I totally didn’t agree with some of the JW’s interpretation, but that didn’t affect my relationship with Sarah. Contrary to what people say about JWs forcing their beliefs down people’s throat, she would explain what she and her church believed, but did not take offence with my own beliefs.  It helped that she was a fellow compatriot and we had other things to talk about apart from the bible. Sometimes I could not meet Sarah because 2010 was a very difficult year for me. I simply had to let her know in advance that I was unavailable. Unfortunately she had to move to Cape Town, but she left me in the hands of a lady in her seventies, who I’ll call Maggie*. 

One of many Jehovah's Witnesses jokes

Maggie gave me hell.  At the start of our relationship, she came across as a very sweet and understanding old lady. She always showed up punctually for bible studies and invited me to her home for tea. We discussed the bible and flowers and she even gave me some. When I couldn’t make our weekly appointments, I would just send her a text to let her know and she would take offence. I could feel the tension even from the texts. When she saw me next, her face would be taut and she would ask about the last meeting I missed. I would apologise, again, and she would tell me that she had been thinking about me a lot, wondering if I was serious about my studies.

Bit by bit, I started losing my ground in our relationship and my territorial prerogatives to Maggie. She started acting like the headmistress, or a shrewd stepmother even, always laying down the law and cracking the whip, telling me what was acceptable and unacceptable to do. She discouraged me from spending time with friends that “were not saved” and told me she and her other church mate, also in her 70s, were good enough friends for me. She also gave me a JW bible and insinuated the one I had was full of lies.  Every time I was incapable of meeting her, my heart would skip a few beats as I sent her the text to cancel. I liked the lessons. They were good for spiritual uplifting, but Maggie was fast reminding me of the famous story of the Arab and the camel. I swear I was becoming afraid of her. In case you don’t know the camel story, here goes a version of it:

One cold night, as an Arab sat in his tent, a camel gently thrust his nose under the flap and looked in. "Master," he said, "let me put my nose in your tent. It's cold and stormy out here." "By all means," said the Arab, "and welcome" as he turned over and went to sleep.

A little later the Arab awoke to find that the camel had not only put his nose in the tent but his head and neck also. The camel, who had been turning his head from side to side, said, "I will take but little more room if I place my forelegs within the tent. It is difficult standing out here." "Yes, you may put your forelegs within," said the Arab, moving a little to make room, for the tent was small.

Finally, the camel said, "May I not stand wholly inside? I keep the tent open by standing as I do." "Yes, yes," said the Arab. "Come wholly inside. Perhaps it will be better for both of us." So the camel crowded in. The Arab with difficulty in the crowded quarters again went to sleep. When he woke up the next time, he was outside in the cold and the camel had the tent to himself. 

I got accepted at university to further my studies. Everybody I told congratulated me, except Maggie. As soon as I told her I would be going to university, that tight smile came back to her face. Those who have watched Desperate Housewives will familiarize themselves with that smile on Bree. Maggie said, “What about your studies?” I said I would make a plan about the studies, even though I knew that chances were very slim I would ever see her again. For me, the studies were the escape that I needed.  Maggie was slowly taking over my life! She went on to tell me that I didn’t need to go to university. I was supposed to worry more about my afterlife, not this one which was transitory. “Join me for Jehovah’s work. It’s more gratifying,” she said. It was as if she was trying to blackmail me, making me feel guilty for choosing university over Jehovah. I explained to her that I was only in my early 30s, still wanted to grow my family hence I needed to work. I omitted to tell her that all her kids were grown and she had a business, which the husband ran, so she didn’t really need to work a day in her life.  It was like speaking to a stone.

I didn’t like that Maggie insisted that I only got to know “the truth” when I started my studies with JWs. She said everything else I had learned were lies.  This holier-than-thou attitude really got on my nerves because I know JW that engage in deviant activities like the rest of us. The bible, in Romans 3:23 states “For all have sinned and come short of His glory.” Maggie also started bullying me into getting baptized at her church, even after I told her I had already been baptized in the Methodist Church. She insinuated that the first baptism was inconsequential because I didn’t know “the truth” when it happened.

During my days at university I hardly saw her, but she did drop by in my absence and left Watchtower and Awake! publications under my door. The publications from JW are extremely informative and well-researched and I looked forward to getting them. Even my husband became an avid reader. The first person to introduce me to them was a former colleague called Gilbert Maglas, may his soul rest in peace. He was such a pleasant man. Just before relocating to Swaziland, I got in touch with Maggie to let her know I was relocating and would be glad to see her one last time and say my goodbyes. Unfortunately I had to cancel again because I had many potential tenants coming to view the house we were leaving and I was packing, so I could not spare a moment to entertain.  As I was busy hustling and bustling, from the corner of my eye, I saw what looked like Maggie’s car. To my horror and dismay, it was! I had told her I was not available and she didn’t respond to my message. She insisted on seeing me whether I liked it or not. I didn’t think that was fair, so I sent my helper to let her know I was unavailable. I was watching her from my stairs, hiding, and I could see her craning her neck towards the house. She knew she had been lied to, but I was too flustered to care. That was the last I saw of her, craning her neck with a grim expression on her face.

Bible I got from Maggie*

I haven’t touched base with her again. Strangely enough, writing this has caused a paroxysm of nostalgia. I actually miss her. She was a bully and was uncompromising, but I wouldn’t say she was a bad person.  I just needed to be more resolute in my decisions and should have played open cards when I felt she was being domineering. If I were to see her again, I’d be frank with her and tell her about her attitude problems. I think I’ve managed to grow a pair over the past few years that I haven’t been with her.  I think I will get in touch with her and roll my eyes when the chastisement starts. I miss our lessons together because I have a spiritual need that is not being fulfilled. She is a bad advertisement for JW, but I don’t think she is representative of all of them.

I don’t believe JW is a cult. I believe they just have a divergent interpretation of the bible, which no-one is compelled to accept. You can’t dislike or fear someone simply because they hold different views to yourself. You can listen to them and stay in your lane. It’s our diversity that makes this world a beautiful place. It only becomes a problem if the differences are so extreme that people hold guns to other people’s heads. I just know that you need all your wits around you when you study with JW because they are a very unwavering lot. You need to know your bible well so that you can argue when you disagree with something they say. I disagree with the malicious allegations against JWs, but my wish is for them to know we are all sinners. Their lessons are great. They encourage moral uprightness, their dress code is really dignified and they encourage healthy family lives. Most people just judge them without ever giving themselves a chance to know what they are all about. When you see those JWs distributing pamphlets on the roadside, do accept. Just don’t allow them the people to forcibly get under your skin; some of them will try to. They are quite a good read. I just got some today J.