Feeding the body that works

Yesterday I was chatting with a beloved friend who is suffering from a serious case of burnout. She told me how everything was weighing down on her to a point where she has totally withdrawn into her shell and can’t enjoy the things she loved before. I have such moments too, together with many other people. Sometimes I feel so overwhelmed with my responsibilities and the walls start closing in on me.  I start to obsessively think about the frustrations in my life and begin to feel that my life really sucks and no-one quite understands what I’m going through.  I can almost physically feel cobwebs invading my brain in moments like those, it’s not a good feeling trust you me.

We usually get so caught up in the rat race that we forget what really matters in life. Of course,what matters in life is relative. We all have our different takes on the matter. What really counts for me is to have meaningful relationships, contentment, and good health. Now, if I’m disgruntled, then all the above can’t come into fruition.

I told my friend that it was normal to be discontented, but what counted most was what we did with the feeling. We don’t drown by falling into the water but by staying there.  Sometimes we need to sit down and look at our lives to find out where exactly the roof is leaking and take the necessary measures. Some levels of burnout just require us to have a brisk walk or jog, watch a movie, a much needed chat with an old pal, or reading a good novel and you feel rejuvenated. Others require a complete overhaul of one’s life, like changing career path, weeding out toxic people from our lives, or “talking to someone”, that isseeing a professional counsellor. I come from a society that hasn’t fully embraced the expediency of counselors, but these are very important people that are trained to help us put our lives back into perspective when the tide threatens to overpower us.

I asked my friend if she had a hobby to help her take her mind off things and she said her days were cram jam full of responsibilities and there was just no time for frivolities like hobbies. That’s where we go wrong, in my opinion. Dwelling on our woes just sinks us deeper into the abyss that is depression. It has this way of creeping up on one. Sometimes all you need to get out of a negative mindset is a fun activity to help you clear your head and get back on the horse. It’s difficult to come up with effective solutions to life’s problems when you are down at the bottom of the barrel.

I’m not a counselor, but I have a formula that works for me. When I’m feeling particularly low, I squeeze in about 30 minutes to do something I love. Before I know it, the 30 minutes would have overrun to an hour or two and that works wonders for my brain. Having a hobby is underrated. My hobbies keep me sane. I get so absorbed in what I enjoy doing that I forget to think about what’s bugging me. I love writing, reading, cross-stitch and exercising. For those, like my friend, who feel there just aren’t enough hours in a day to factor in hobbies, it might mean waking up early or sleeping later than usual to get some me-time. Draft a timetable like a school kid and stick religiously to it if time management is an issue.

Taking care of our head space is just as important, if not more, as everything else. There are just too many things clamouring for our attention – kids, work, households, spouses, extended family and more. We are, however, not effective in our respective duties if we feel stretched beyond what we can endure. We can’t take care of the needs of others without taking care of ourselves. Sometimes when I remove myself from my children to breathe a little and recharge my batteries, I start to feel guilty. I feel selfish for enjoying myself after leaving my baby with the sitter, screaming for me. I have to keep silently chanting to myself, “I deserve this time alone, I need it, baby is going to be just fine”.