Being the bigger person...

There are moments in life when you come face to face with people who just don’t get it. There you are, trying to mind your own business and BOOM! There they are; in your face, in your hair, treading on your toes and just all over the place trying to run your life like it’s their show. You are left with one of two choices – getting into a shouting match with them until you are blue in the face (maybe dark black if you are black like me), or just shake your head and move along with your life to preserve your dignity.

Some people just believe that s/he who shouts loudest, or has nastier words, wins the argument regardless of whether they are right or wrong or whether  their argument is coherent or not. Sometimes we have to be bigger than our bosses at work, our parents, spouses or our children throwing a tantrum. As we go through life, there are circumstances that make us see that we don’t necessarily have to win every argument to feel good about ourselves. Losing an argument is worth nothing in comparison to losing self-respect after being drawn into a stupid confrontation. I believe in standing my ground, but what’s the point of wasting our lung power on a quarrel we can’t win because of the level of understanding of the other party? It’s perfectly OK to sometimes let go and let God.

Sometimes we might argue to prove to our opponent that we are right and they are wrong, that we also have an assortment of bad things to say to them, but after the argument is done, we see that we emerged much smaller by allowing ourselves to stoop to their level. We don’t always have to put in the last word. Occasionally you have to let the other unreasonable person think they have won, just so that their evidently very troubled soul can rest, and so you can also enjoy some peace in your life. At times it’s essential to keep quiet in the face of onslaught from toxic people. Not because you respect them, but because you respect yourself too much to allow them to drag you to their level. But the problem with toxic people like that is they hate to be ignored, they are itching for a fight and when they don’t get that fight, they relentlessly try to rattle your cage so that you can entertain their fatuous nonsense. And that is why you should keep a level head and a shut mouth, difficult as it is, and continue to mind your business while shoving them and their antics in the dust bin of your mind where they belong. You just have to let them find another place to unleash their demons.  As you struggle to not retaliate, you just have to keep the voice in your head chanting, “Be the bigger person, be the bigger person!” Life is too beautiful to waste it trying to understand why some people seem to have been made with the sole purpose in life to pop others’ bubbles.