Live and Let Live

Picture sourced from NYP

I felt very saddened when I saw this picture of a man being thrown off a tall building by ISIS. His sin? Being gay. The man survived the fall but there were more people on the ground, waiting to stone him to death. Although I’m not gay and do not know anyone really close to me who is, I was revolted by the injustice of it all. I decided to write something on the subject of homosexuality, but wasn’t sure what exactly to write. I got in touch with my opinionated cousin TB to sound her out.

Below is a conversation I had with her:

ME: I’m writing a blog post about homosexuality. What are your sentiments on the subject?

TB: I think I would not want my child to be homo. Those who are should not make it too obvious as many gay people do. I will interact with gay people just like with anyone who is straight.

ME: You’re saying those who are gay shouldn’t show it too much. Do you expect the same of heterosexual people?

TB: heteros don’t put it out there. Gays make it too obvious, hand gestures etc.

ME: but who are we to tell people how they should live?

TB: it’s OK to point fingers. Being gay is not natural full stop.  Our bodies were not meant to accommodate each other as women. We accommodate men, and vice versa.

ME: But men are accommodating each other.

TB: In the poop hole. Forcing things.

ME: But it’s their choice. You can’t tell people what to do with their bodies. If it’s a sin, only God should judge them. We also have our sins.

TB: Yes but if it’s detrimental to society it should be said. If we speak against prostitution we should speak against homos.

ME: You really hate them!

TB: I don’t hate them. I just haven’t met one who does not put it out there. The two I knew made me feel like being heterosexual was uncool. I don’t know any other since the ones I knew left my salon.

ME: Don’t you think some people are created gay? What are those people supposed to do?

TB: They get rehabilitated like everyone else with a problem.

Live and let live Picture drawn by Michelle 

ME: I can’t believe you said that!

TB: hahaha

What makes people feel they have the right to judge and decide what are better or worse sins? I come from a very homophobic country, and before moving to South Africa, I had never really met a gay person. When I eventually did, I was terrified, though I’m not really sure of what. I didn’t want to be around the gay guys that were in my space because they just scared me with their made up faces and feminine demeanor on very masculine bodies. Gradually I learned to accept that these people would be in my space forever and I had to make peace with that. I even became friends with one gay guy, and realised that there was nothing scary about him or any other gay person. They are just people with a different perspective to life, different preferences from the ones that we are used to.

Many people say they hate homosexuality because the bible says it’s a sin. I saw that part too. I also saw the verses that talk against gossip, illicit sex, prostitution, fornication, stealing, killing, among other vices. Surprisingly, known killers are known to vehemently castigate homosexuality because it’s not Christian, it’s a sin. Worse than theirs? I ask myself. I have read many accounts of how gay prisoners are targeted in jail by rapists and murderers who feel their lifestyle is plain immoral. Suddenly people who have committed serious crimes have also become the moral police.

People have the right to make their own choices. Science supports that some gay people don’t actually make the choice to have their sexual preferences. Gay people are not committing a crime against anyone by dating people of the same sex. They have their own place under the sun, like us all, and don’t owe anyone any explanations.  What they do with their lives and their bodies is their business. We would also not want people coming to us with a list of things we can or can’t do with our lives. How would it feel to have people come to you and say, “You’re not married. Why are you having sex outside marriage? It’s a sin! You’re going to burn in hell!” Let he who is without sin cast the first stone.